i cybered on omegle today
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
A QUICK LESSON ON CROPS AND WHIPS FROM YOUR...
aqono: satan-doge: iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou: THIS IS A CROP IT DOES NOT MAKE THE ‘WHH-CH’ WHIP NOISE IT CAN LEAVE BRUISING BUT WILL NOT CUT YOUR SKIN THIS IS A WHIP IT DOES MAKE THE ‘WHH-CH’ WHIP NOISE IT PROBABLY WON’T LEAVE BRUISING BUT CAN CUT YOUR SKIN NOW GO FORTH AND WRITE ACCURATE PORN I JUST SPAT CRANBERRY JUICE ALL OVER MY HOMEWORK AND DESK BECUASE OF THE END OF...
porcelainivoryvalyriansteel: hungrylikethewolfie: barackobama: guitarandmountaindew: stay-bene-amici: all my OTPs sittin’ in a tree HO-MO-SEXU-ALITY first comes love then comes marriage thanks obama you’re welcome. i haven’t seen this post since the election!
cuddlefeyrac: au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport
I did a thing...
grippedbydestiel: sirspnstersociopath: BUT GUYS HAS ANYONE MENTIONED THAT THIS NOVEMBER WE ARE SUPPOSEDLY GOING TO SEE SOME OF THE MOST INTENSE METEOR SHOWERS OF OUR GENERATION AND SEASON 9 OF SUPERNATURAL AIRS IN NOVEMBER SO THIS WILL LITERALLY BE US IRL: THOSE FUCKERS PLANNED IT ALL *screaming*
kusakaryuuji: taking selfies w/ friends like
perfunctory: it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and then you notice the little phrases that you use and the stupid little things you say slipping into their vocabulary more and more
djavjr: it has been three days since my infiltration into the nest they do not suspect a thing
Reblog if you've ever yelled at a book.
hyung-kun: kripke-is-my-king: professionalcrazyfangirl: polerin: cannibalcoalition: afoxnamedtod: Are there people who don’t reblog this? I can only assume that the ones who haven’t aren’t reading the right books. FUCKING BOOKS. If it doesn’t make you mad, it’s not good enough. Sometimes, but usually its at my text books.
mysticorset: vandalswithjetpacks: The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable. #his teeth weren’t the only thing that was wooden